In three days I embark on a journey short on miles but long on meaning. For three days, I will canoe the complete Monocacy River from beginning to end, 60 miles in length.
She is my home river. She is my mistress. She is where I go to escape. From the hot August evenings standing waist deep in her waters casting to smallmouth bass to the frigid January mornings tucked behind a log jam waiting for mallards to join my decoys; her presence brings peace to my inner being.
I remember meeting her for the first time during the summer of 1992. Driving my old Jeep CJ away from Westminster on Route 77 looking for a place to fish, I found much more than fish. Since that summer, she has become a part of my life. She was the first place I fished on my return from Alaska last summer. From leisure summer canoe trips with friends to icy duck hunts, there is not much of her I have not experienced.
How we flow through life is of our own choosing
In 2010 our relationship solidified when I was appointed to the Monocacy Scenic River Citizen Advisory Board as a representative of Carroll County. For years she had been there for me, now it is my time to be her watch guard.
The idea of such an adventure to float the entire Monocacy in three days solo has drifted in my mind for many years. Making it possible is a result of dramatic life changes. These changes have come at a price. A price worth spending to find one’s real self and being able to live the life one feels and knows God is directing them to live.
My priorities have changed. No longer do I worry about the Jones up the street. They can have all the possessions they want. I now strive for happiness through life experiences and not belongings. I no longer live in a Mcmansion, having given it up for a week day studio apartment in Alexandria VA and weekend stays with family in rural Carroll County. Perplexing how living in a city apartment allows me to spend more time out-of-doors. By removing the four plus hours a day spent fighting grid lock traffic, my time is mine to explore; exploring the local woods and waters, exploring my mind with a good book, the local art and quiet thought overlooking the Potomac River.
Soon I will be traveling down the Monocacy experiencing the adventure I once only dreamed. In the end, I will have reached a point of closure with my old life and fully emerge into my new life.
It is with sadness that these changes have come at a cost of losing a close relationship with my two daughters. And over that I pray daily. For I now know one cannot be all to others until one is true to one’s self and who you are in God’s eyes. I will continue to be the father and person I know best to be and hope and pray they see the goodness in my change. I want for my two daughters the ability, want and desire to experience life in the fullest as God has intended for them. It is through me attempting to do the same that I hope we can share in life’s journeys side by side.
